TRAVEL THOUGHTS// On Leaving

8/22/2014 02:00:00 AM

Photo: a peek at my hometown.

          Hey lovelies! So this post is going to be a little bit different. I wanted to start a post series about something completely not related to fashion and something that has been on my mind for quite a while. By the time you are reading this I will have already landed in Hong Kong, probably excited and a little bit nervous. In late December, I decided to apply for a graduate program in Hong Kong, just to see what would happen. I had a place to stay, and my parents were planning to move there eventually, so it wouldn't hurt to just try. Lo and behold a few months later I was staring my acceptance letter in the face, both excited and completely terrified at the prospect of having to move halfway across the world, not knowing a single soul.

          Now I'm not the most adventurous person in the world and in fact I get quite intimidated when thinking about picking up my life and moving to a completely different place but one of the things that I am trying my best to do is to just out and do things without over thinking and calculating every bad outcome. So, I will be getting on a plane with the majority of my life packed up in a few suitcases and it's going to be this crazy thing that I've done that I'll be able to tell my kids about when I'm older.

          Going to school so far away is going to be amazing, but today I'm feeling a bit sad about all of the things that I'm going to miss. Just this past month I've really gotten to appreciate catching up with my friends and it's something that I'm a little scared about because lord know's I'm not the best at maintaining relationships. I'm not the best at starting them either which is one of the main reasons why I get a little anxious every time I think about the first day of school but if there's anything that the past four years of college has taught me, it's that life can get a little lonely sometimes, and that's ok. And sometimes I won't want to put myself out there and introduce myself first, but again with the over thinking, sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and do it.

          I'm also going to miss my family a lot. When I went to college, I would go home on the weekends because it was so close to my hometown so even if I wasn't feeling the best, home was always just a car ride away. Now, it's a fourteen hour flight away, and that's scary to think about too. I'm supposed to be grown woman by now, with most of my life figured out, and it feels exactly the opposite. I know eventually everything will fall in place and it'll be completely fine once I get my footing, but I'm still irrationally scared about a lot of things, and still quite sad about all the things I'm leaving behind (and I am so sure I'm going to miss a lot of food that they don't have in Hong Kong) but once I get my head out of thinking that this is some great and terrifying thing and start thinking about it like an opportunity and an invaluable experience, I'll be ok. This series that I hope to continue is going to be a sort of insight into my life and a documentary and a reminder to myself that sometimes it's ok to feel distraught about big changes but it's going to be fine. It's going to be great if you let it.

          So here's to feeling a little bit apprehensive and having that be ok. And here's to an amazing experience that I will take with me for the rest of my life. See you on the flip side.

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